I need ideas how to fill my bicycle with electronic charge that will last 24 hours, and will give a jolt (but not at all lethal or dangerous, just a little painful) to those who touch it?

I have problems with a neighbour who keeps letting the air out of my tires. I thought of putting a pin in the vavle-chamber, but that would be stupid. I don't want to hurt him or infect him.

Can someone tell me how I could charge the bike with electricity, like with a bunch of extra electrons, that will spark off with a surprising jolt on him when he puts his finger to the valve? Much like a cattle-prod or an electric cattle-fence.

Thanks.

why would they do that?
Can you somehow set up a camera,catch them in the act?

Torz, do you live in the city, ghetto low rise condo area or just a normal house type area? How do you know its your neighbour, how old is your neighbour and possible reasons they are doing that? Where do you leave your bike? can you see your bike from the window?

You could catch them on video and get the police involved, but then again, they may want revenge in that case. I would say IMO filling your tires with stinky propane might be better as they would get stinky fingers. You could also get metal valve caps and put them on very tight and put vaseline on them, problem is, will they just pop the tire.

Are you willing to learn electronics Torz?

Thanks for the replies, it's a madman neighbour. He's quite harmless, other than his pranks. He's 44 years old.

He may or may have a grudge against me, but he chases the cats and he loves the dogs. I love the cats and the dogs chase me. Hey, maybe that's the connection. I haven't thought of that. Yeah, prably that's it, he's in kahootz, with the dogs.

I live in a quiet residential cul-de-sac, under a tall pine tree in the back, and a tall something else tree in the front.

It's not a police case and I don't need to videotape him. It's futile to reason with him, but I think he can be trained off this habit if he gets jolted a few times.

Yes, I am willing to learn electronics. It's a headache, it's extremely difficult to figure out even a simple cirucuit, for the voltage-resistence-current calculations, as there are lies in electronics: They teach you in the first class that V=I/R, NO MATTER WHAT, and then they turn around and say something else, like "yes, but they are parallelly hooked up, so the current would get distributed between the lines," and all of a sudden their original very strongly worded statement does not hold. I hate inconsistencies in teaching, more for the human failing in the inability to teach than for the fact of how lies like this may be justified for their methodological values.

Then sometimes some idiot introduces chokes and parallel plates into the circuit, and then you're really in hot trouble.

Alli_oop, have you got a reply for me on the topic on the inability to appreciate music? I want to hear YOU to say the jist of what the RESEARCH found. Just saying, I won't let this go to sleep, hot mama of Brainiacdating. You got my interest up, now you got to give me satisfaction, baby. Do you speak Friench? Are you Friench?

I forgot to add: I don't chain down the bike, it's that very safe around here. Once I took it to the nearest subway, chained it down and travelled to New Jersey to bury and aunt. She had died, I should add. I came back four days and three nights later, I went to unlock the bike -- no lock. The bicycle, all its accessories, the stuff on the carrier, even the chain was there -- they stole the lock.

I think it paints a pretty sorry picture of how unwanted my bicycle must be. But I love her dearly, now more than ever, exactly for her being an ugly little sweet bicycle.

To console her, I painted her all white this year, lubed her up, and put on a brand new chain-guard. (An invention of mine, to keep my pants from getting greasy.) I sawed off the ends of the steering bar, and put in a roller in each end. I got the rollers out from the legs of an old rolling chair. My hands cup them perfectly, and my arthritic thums can now somehow stand the pain when I ride, as it's so much lessened. I put in a carrier on the back -- I found a paper-shredder in someone's garbage downtown, and I took out the wire-mash cylinder, and rigged it up above the rear wheel. Oh, the best -- it's a children's bike. I'm 5'4", and reg'lar bikes have always been too big for me. I needed to stretch across the whole damn thing, and now this little baby is exactly my size. I have a looooong seat-post, I raised the steering bar, and bob's my uncle. The only other addition was the gear. The bike was too easy to pedal, I couldn't work up a speed. So I special-ordered a six-gear for the rear wheel, and the smallest gearplate has only 11 teeth in it, or spokes or whatever they're called. I can go now up to 30 km an hour (18 Miles an hour) without looking like a road-runner on the cartoons. I can't say "without looking like Fred Flintstone on the cartoons", because, very sadly, that's the TV star that I resemble the most.

For the technically-minded, the bicycle has 20-inch wheels.

I haven't tried to electrifiy anything like this, but I'm assuming there will be some effect. You could either find an old laptop or possibly make the circuit. If you find an old lap top, you can get the high voltage circuit out and use that, they run on anywhere from 12-24V and they output 2-3KV at a high frequency. The high frequency high voltage hurts, makes smallish white burns and has less current then electric fence zappers. [EDIT] forgot to add, the circuit in the laptop is the one that powers the lights in the screen [edit].

What you would want to do is ground one of the high voltage leads to the neg. terminal and then the other high voltage lead would goto a plate of copper or stainless with a HV microwave oven diode in series (line side going to the plate).The diode needs to come from an inverter microwave (high speed diode). Then you would get some insulator (2 layers of mylar) or maybe the paint will be thick enough, can't have HV pathways like bubbles in the paint. Then you basicly put the copper/stainless over the insulator and then around a 2" length of bike frame so it makes a capacitor coupling between the circuit and the bike. Its like the circuit thats suppose to protect you car from rust but this runs at a higher voltage. It should, in theory make the bikes frame charge upto neg. 2-3KV.

The painted parts may not shock, but the spokes will. Even then, I am not sure if it will jolt hard enough. Then comes the size of battery for 24 hours opperation, it would need to be big and heavy....and hidden. So instead of a huge battery, you should make some sort of motion detector or sound detector circuit that acts as a switch that turns it on. If he tips the bike to do it, use some sort of tilt switch. Just hide all wires, batteries and sensors.

I still think propane would be better.

"Do you speak Friench? Are you Friench?"

no. just highschool french. But i'm really good at reading cereal boxes. I can pick apart stuff like instructions and general info and say short comon sentences.
German too is about that level.

and i don't think u asked that in the other thread.

Alli_oop: yes, you are right, I did not ask for that in the other thread. That said, "That" meaning the Friench thing, or the research thing? That's an important distinction, buried alive in that little word, "that". That's how the word "that" is.

Tech79: Thanks. That was quite a fun read. I might use your instructions if you give me the permission in a place where I want to sound techi-ish. But really, I appreciate your goodwill. Of course you realize it'd be easier for me to jump off a tv tower than to execute your instructions. But they were a fun read.

So... I'll just pump up my tires every time I leave the house. It's a good work-out, nothing wrong with some good ole' pumping action. Pump, pump. Pum---pu-pumm pu-pumm pa pa-a-a pupumm. It's a transferable skill, too.

And now, for the great unification theory in action: A Friench Tickler does to a techi-ish man what a whatever else does to some whatever something even more else.

Alli_oop, I hold you personally responsible for this joke's falling on its face. I was sooo depending on you to be Friench.

Huh? Hmmm permission? Would a picture be better? I think it would be easier to fill the tires with propane or even CO2. As for the tranference...lol.

French french french <-- feel free to copy and paste so the "i" can't slip in and hide there lol.

I'm doing pretty good in the joke ruiner department. Remember the pun fiasco.