...i want to invent a programmable LCD that i can hang in my back window while i'm driving to read things like "have a nice day" and "hey f**ktard, why don't you just get in my back seat?"
...my allergist tells me i "should live in a bubble" to be completely "free" of my allergies...i wonder what all those people who said i was living a proverbial "glass house" have to say *now*?
...i love wine
...and dark chocolate
...i am totally in jeopardy of losing my "tough chic" card, they keep raising the dues!
...why will people at the airport bond with you while you both wait in the security checkpoint line, yet won't give you any elbow room on the plane?
...a shoe that costs more, does not hurt less.
...i am allergic to: wheat, gluten, the main ingredient in: soaps, lotions, make up & cleaning products, dogs, cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, dust mites and literally everything that grows as foliage, shrub, grass or flower in the southeast...and bull$hit....so, *why* does it cost me nearly $500 a month to keep *rid* of these items i can't have anyway??
...allergy shots: 4 shots, 3 times a week for 4 months...but i can't give blood?
..."my split personalities hear voices in *their* heads"
...there are men on G4 demolishing a house by hand...when do i get my own show? i can f**k up anything...
...iPod, iDog, iHome, iCar, iPad...iM.Over.It
..."sometimes, its still funny...even when someone loses an eye"
...my kids are smarter than me, though they haven't quite caught on to that yet...i win!
...you just simply can't play chess alone get any satisfaction out of it
...what a difference a year makes
...i turned 40 in may...which i'm told "officially makes me a "cougar""...um, yea sweetheart, c'mere and let me rip your throat out and eat you alive...seriously?
...it has come to my attention that people do and will change: their hair, their lifestyle, their clothes, their cars, their friends...and then expect you to change your mind.
...i have truly great friends...but i can count on one hand how many really know me...i thought about this today, and that is because that's how i want it...and i'm ok with that.
...i can't seem to enjoy unabated happiness without always looking for ashton kutcher to appear.
....i will talk to anyone! i love people, nice people, grumpy people...as long as they are not sh**ty people...and when they are sh**ty people, i still talk, but turn off my buffer.
I hate when people pass you to race you to the red light, cowards that abuse animals, the sound of styrofoam rubbing together
I expect my significant other to be: proud, well mannered, well spoken, family oriented, socially adaptable...i don't expect my significant other to shower me with materialistic possessions
I think know why whales beach themselves
...why do people pick their noses in their car like its some kind of force field that no one else can see through?
... i have never understood why people are rude to the people that are preparing their food.
--if you got that far...i am very sarcastic...i find cynicism the most sincere form of humor...i have a dark side, that's not to say it's an "evil" side...i'm quite giving of my time and energy to help others...i've witnessed and survived just about anything labeled "tragic" and those parts of my life only made me who i am...i laugh a little inside when i read "no drama here" or the like, on someone's profile...honey, if your life is "drama free"...i'd find it boring...you haven't lived enough yet...
i'd love to hear from you if: you're not married...not dating someone else (that doesn't know you're not dating someone else)...not cheating (even online)...not a mooch...don't need or seek sex to fulfill some adolescent insecurities...and like chocolate :)
xoxo
anything that doesn't require me to sign a waiver ;-)
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