I am never sure what to write on these sites or how to describe myself or my life. I don't feel that anything I could (or would be willing to) write about myself here would give a very clear sense of who I really am in my core. I could describe my outward characteristics and my daily life and some of my likes and dislikes, but that would not describe me.
I am many things, sometimes at the same time and sometimes in succession....I often feel that I am either a mass of contradictions, or that I am a personification of non-duality. I am in many ways a real misfit, and in other ways very ordinary-I am definitely complex.
I really like to learn, and think and read, and talk about ideas. I like to explore questions more than I like answers...I can be very serious and high-strung, and also playful and laid back- I am pretty equally right and left brained-I was an art and math major in college-though my art is not at all mathematical-my math is often artistic. I see, and like to see, connections among things that often appear unconnected- I see most disciplines as simply different ways to describe, think about, and make sense of the world and experience- I see the dividing, and compartmentalizing, of thought into subjects and disciplines as a necessary tool for managing complexity, but I think that so we often forget to reconnect our compartments and in doing so miss seeing the whole.
I am more excited by the processes of life than the products-This is not to say that I don't have goals or desires, or that I don't value achieving them. It is just that often achieving a goal is viewed as an end rather, than a step along the way- a part of the process- and for me,with each goal reached, I am still always beginning-continuing- and my goals and desires are shaped and changed in the process of living.(I do like to rest too along the way-just not for so long that I stagnate and stop growing).
I definitely have some basic core needs, and values which are very important to me, but I am not wedded to any particular strategy, path, or form for meeting them-
I want to live my life fully engaged in the process of living, fully present and alive, with openness,integrity, connection and care, in the broadest sense...an ongoing process of discovery, creation and nurturing of life and growth in others, myself, and my world- That is really my goal. My desire is to do "it" side by side with a partner with whom I can share a reciprocal care, willingness and commitment to nurture and support each other's growth on the journey (even when sometimes it may not be "fun" in the moment)....With a partner, even the tough parts can be an adventure instead of a a chore-like mountain climbing-hooked together on the journey, watching the other's back, sharing the sights, insights and wonder, encouraging and helping the other to continue the climb when one may be tired, afraid, discouraged or unsure, catching each other if we stumble, championing each other when afraid or uncertain, caring for each others wounds if we fall, celebrating successes...
In a relationship I want it all-imagination,romance, friendship,, partnership, adventures of the mind, practicality and impracticality, laughter and lightness and seriousness, creativity, possibility, growth, and also stability and vulnerability, and honesty, trust, safety, and love both in feeling and action.
I like to read almost anything that makes me think about the world, and the human condition. This could include anything from popular and classic fiction, magazine articles, biographies, philosophy, scientific books and articles(particularly neuroscience), Psychology, Sociology,law,art, etc....it really could include anything depending on what issues are most present and compelling in my life at any given time.
Recently I have been reading a lot about ethics, community and language/communication and meaning, and what makes us who we are, and what drives the choices we make, ...I recently reread Vicktor Frankl's, "Man's Search for Meaning", and I have also recently been reading Margaret Urban Walker, and also about the "Just World Theory," and victim blaming, and about why many people choose to ignore the elephants in the rooms of their lives, and remain silent in the face of injustices and atrocities both big and small. I have been trying to understand how the choice, and even social imperative not to see, is reinforced, and why it is not benign, but actually helps silence victims of injustice and their champions and witnesses, maintains the status quo, supports perpetrators and compounds the harm of the original injustice, both in small ways (within the being and self concept of victims, and in their relationships and interpersonal interactions in their communities) and in bigger more global ways systemically and politically.....I guess I am in a rather serious mode lately.
I haven't been reading much fiction lately- I like poetry, psychological novels, philosophy and ethics , history, brain research, sociology, psychology- some authors I like are, Dostoyevsky's (novels), Tolstoy's (short stories ), Stephen King, Joyce Carol Oates, Ann rice,Vonnegut, Toni Morrison,George Bernard Shaw, Dorothy Parker, Ferlinghetti,T.S. Elliot, Mel Levine, Kahlil Ghibran, Rumi, Joseph Campbell, and lots more (not a complete list or even necessarily my favorites)-just who comes to mind at the moment..
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going for a cup of coffee, anything low key and quiet where we can talk, walk if the weather is nice, meeting at a cafe at a bookstore.
I am not much of a game player and am not very good at them- I would rather engage in conversation, or paint or read, - I like doing crossword puzzles, playing scrabble, mostly I know kids' games...
The Matrix, Erin Brockovich, I am too tired to think of any right now.I haven't gotten out to many movies lately...I know that I don't like slasher films or films with gratuitous violence-but other than that, I am pretty open to anything...though I tend to like more serious psychological movies, I also like a good comedy
I like most music except intense heavy metal, rap and serious country. I like Folk music a lot for its words,ideas,activism and community and my ability to participate and sing along despite my lack of musical talent...I like satsangs and chanting, I like the music of my youth-(1970's)-I like classical, I like drumming, and I like much of the music my son (17) listens to, though I would not be able to name most of it. I am open to hearing new music. I have also recently discovered that I like dancing(or perhaps I have simply begun to lose my shyness about dancing in public). I have also recently discovered Sufi dances(dances of universal peace) and trance dancing and like them both as a form of group meditation.
Anthropology Archeology Astronomy Animals Economics/Finance History Languages/Linguistics Literature Math Music Plants/Nature Philosophy Psychology/Sociology Politics Religion/Spiritual Visual Arts
I have many interests- I can be interested in almost any subject except maybe sports...I am particularly interested in art(creating it), psychology, philosophy, ethics, logic, education, sociology, human interaction, neuropsychology, Music(Listening to it), politics, thought, intelligent conversation, finding the disconnects, creative problem solving, dance (not formal), exploring new ideas, things, people and places. different cultures, law, linguistics,
